Graham Milton

In Australia, we have an unfortunate stereotype of ‘The Blokey Bloke‘, which sways cultural expectations of masculinity away from what I would see as a sensible ideal, and into a sad, restrictive, closed-minded caricature of what a man could and should be.

What the hell does it mean to be a man?

On the surface, it might seem to be easy to answer.

or maybe..

‘Tough, independant, vigilant, strong’ ?

But these are only facades of being a man: deliberately designed to appear as the most masculine, or rather, the least feminine.

I’ve tried discussing the idea of ‘what it is to be a man’ with others, and even the idea that the construct of masculinity as being something ‘achieved by a revolt from woman, and confirmed only by other men’ but only ever really got shrugs back.

It seems ironic that ‘blokey blokes’ are either conciously or subconciously fearful of appearing in any way feminine, as their only definition of masculinity is guided as being the exact opposite of femininity.

What makes this irony all the more sad is that
on the surface, the key traits of masculinity are strength & invunerability…

But those who try the hardest to be seen as masculine are typically those with the deepest fears of being seen to have any feminine traits.

Let me clarify: I don’t simply mean personality traits which are derived from instinct or from the act of child-baring, such as desires of nesting & nurture etc, (that may hold some weight of logic)

The feminine traits these men often hide from are typically human constructs of feminine ideals, such as emotional articulation, an interest in fine art, intellectualism, sensitivity & empathy… Christ, even the colour pink or an interest in well designed clothes!

I’ve long since held the belief that a ‘greater man’ would be one who could recognise those fears in society and in himself, and overcome them. To be and enjoy being himself, regardless of the socio-sexual expectations of others.

What do you think?

What the hell is
‘being a man’ to you?

Also, do you find that your ideals of masculinity are swayed by popular media or even by society in general?

I’d really like to hear people’s thoughts on this.

I found a great game by Ze Frank recently called ‘Athiest‘. I like it, it made me giggle.

Of course, it does sum up the aparent nature of our existence a little too well: Should I sit at the game over screen wondering

‘What could I have done to better my short and meaningless (game) life? I mean I jumped around a bit, had some fun, now here I am.’

Looking back, what will really matter? A sense of achievement of challenges met and overcome? Certainly it can’t simply be about working too hard for money and respect, like my brother? Or just being comfortable while you roll on down the hill, like my father… Perhaps it’s all about reltionships; being able to openly share love with those around you, and knowing you touched many people deeply? Perhaps this game would seem more meaningful when its played with others? I personally try to create beauty as a means of negating the meaninglessness of life, but is this enough? In the search for beauty: Perhaps I should forgo artistry altogether and focus on the people close to me?

Could a beautiful life be the ultimate work of art?

Buenos Aires is certainly a beautiful city,
with its rich culture and amazing french architecture, but the reason I loved it so much was because it was the first place in South America that I could easily make friends. Everywhere else was almost entirely spanish speaking - even in the hostels - so by the time I got to BsAs, I was desperate to have a *real* conversation with someone!

Luckily for me, I met some really fantastic people there and shared some fantastic moments.

I think meeting so many great people has definitely helped me grow a bit.

In a conversation about how people are more receptive to making connections when travelling, I offered them the metaphor of waves:

We think we’re individual waves roaming about.. but we forget we’re all connected.
We’re all part of one spiritual ocean:

…and every person you make a connection with leaves a little bit of themselves with you (in terms of wisdom, inspiration, and attitudes to life), just as you do with them. (An idea I extended from a great book I read recently)

Even with a broken arm I couldn’t be unhappy for long… the day after the accident, everyone snuck into my room while i slept and wrote on my plaster cast!

(Sit in an airport for 16 solid hours and you WILL be able to hear Brian Eno everywhere.)

I did have more sketches, but my scanner did a crap job catching the light pencil work.

(ps, that last sketch is of random people sleeping at Sao Paulo Airport… Am I creepy or what?!)

A few days before i did that Gorey illustration… I was chatting with a comic illustrator friend who was brainstorming for a new piece. She’d been asked to do something for a comic publication on love and sex (every edition is themed love and something) and we were chatting about all the things you could do without getting smutty etc.

I started wondering if you could make a visual metaphor for that wonderful transcendental sensual place you can sometimes peak into when making love, where you lose your ’self’ and only exist as ‘that kiss’ and ‘that caress of the neck’… where every movement is a statement in its own sensual language.

I started wondering if you could make some form of ‘parrallel universe’ where bodies were made of smoke? of water? of hair? I started trying to think about how i could depict that in illustrated form…

I got inspired & decided to try to roughly sketch something out, with a narrative of an older girl introducing an inexperienced boy to lovemaking.

However: I hadn’t drawn a comic in 10 nearly years - so you can see the first few panels in this sketch are a bit (i.e. really) crappy.

Though its just a sketch, I got a bit carried away with the detail in the last few panels, so I’ve linked to a larger version, if anyone’s interested.

NOTE
As its just a sketch and i was laying shit out on the fly, the text is pretty much illegible, with boxes & arrows pointing to where i should have written it whenever i changed my mind.

The illegible text reads:

“Samantha, listen. I’ve never… uh, I’ve never been with anyone before!”

“Really? Well, lucky me. If you let me, perhaps I can take you somewhere special…
Do you trust me? Theres a place we can go to, but only if we go together”

“A place?”

“A place outside of time - outside of us. I can take you there, all you have to do is close your eyes… And listen to your heart”